Silence
Silence like the cancer grows. Pathetic, exaggerated, but I think a true statement. For my personally silence is a killer. I hate it. Whenever silence is around my I feel I am under siege. I do not know how to defend myself, and I am full of anger.
Silence is remarkable mostly at night, when everything is silent. As I have a lot of nights with almost no sleep I should have get used to, but I did not. I associate silence with loneliness. Scientifics ideas that silence brings us calm and health are simply gullible for me. For me silence brings anxiety, curiosity and anger.
Silence as well gives us time to think. Sometimes it is really constructive, but it can be as well … destructive, and for my it is. Silence, lack of voice, of sounds, leads us to odd conclusions. Why odd? Simply in silence you do not have inspiration, a topic to think about, so you touch what is least obvious and most universal. What can it be? For example death, or life, family, values. Your conclusions made in silence are from time to time worth sheering with others, but mostly they are forced by nostalgic feelings and sadness, so you keep them deeply in your soul. It may lead to depression and moreover to uncontrolled anger.
Silence is not worth giving it a try. Silence do grows like a cancer, and it can be, as a cancer dangerous. We need to by anxious all the time not to let silence mislead us…
Nowadays silence is a rare phenomenon. We live in a world full of various sounds. Noise surrounds us everywhere. It is important to know how to find peace and quiet. Have you ever thought how much time do you spend every day in silence? In my opinion the world does not give us enough quiet, so we have to find it on our own.
The human being simply needs moments of emotions and adrenaline, but also silence. It is essential for our brain to work well. The balance must be preserved to remain mentally healthy. On the one hand we have a lot of places meant to give people noise, excitation and fun. On the other hand there are less and less opportunities to remain in peace and quiet. Living in a city makes finding silence difficult. However, having observed me and some of my friends I drew a conclusion that modern silence is not a lack of noise – it is a state of mind. It is a hidden skill to turn off all noises surrounding you. Some people know how to do it. They seem to have their minds closed for everything then. I experience this state myself sometimes when I feel exhausted by life or fully engaged to some work. I do not even hear this “beeping” that you use to appear in your ears when it is quiet around. My brain takes a deep breath then and is able to work in full swing for some time again.
In a noisy and demanding world an ability to “make” silence in our brains seems to be a gift from God that helps us to remain working constantly. The human being was never prepared to be loaded as it is toady so something must have been done to help us. Perhaps this phenomenon is only my illusion, but I do not want to know it for sure as long as it works in my case.
Silence: from definition it is a period with no sounds and lack of noises. However, is it that simple? We all know different kinds of silence: awkward silence, ‘the teacher asked the question’ silence, ‘I do not want to talk to you’ silence, ‘I don’t know what to say’ silence, contemplating silence… Paradoxically, they meanings vary, although not a single word is spoken.
So what is the deception of silence in general in the modern world? First of all, we can hardly ever experience it, walking through the streets full of industrial noise and people’s conversations, accompanied by popular radio songs. Did the rarity of it made us fear it? Everything indicates so. When one keeps quiet for a longer time, it provokes questions such as ‘Are you all right?’. Moreover, calmness seems unbearable to the human kind, since we try to escape from it by putting music or television on whenever our environment is ‘too calm’. Does it leave silence unappreciated?
I think we have been forced to construct our own silence from the surrounding noises. As our ancestors used to brood and get lost in their thoughts in total silence, we do the same while listening to music or overhearing the TV programme – as even I when I am writing these words. We have simply adapted. However, sometimes we might need the real silence – not the fake one. What do we do in that case? I assume that it is not hard to do. If you really want to – just lock yourself in your room, and you will eventually find it.
„I need some silence! Silence! Where is silence?”. Something inside my head was screaming for it. I decided not to resist.
As I am lazy, I started from the ground floor, from the place that was the closest me, the kitchen. I put my head into the room and I saw my mother cooking dinner. The smell was wonderful but for sure silence was not there. Despite the fact that I suddenly become hungry I left kitchen.
I saw my dad sleeping in the living room. I thought: “Maybe he…” but snoring had interrupted me. As it was the beginning of the exploration, I did not give up.
Next goal was my mothers’ surgery. I opened the door slowly and I was just about to enjoy the silence when I heard annoying, drilling whistle. It was dental armchair. “Oh well, what can I tell” I hummed, left the surgery and closed the door.
I defeated stairs with a few steps. I stopped to calm my breath and after a while I was ready to work. Bathroom? No, dripping tap. My sisters’ room? Her angry rabbit will definitely disturb me in contemplation of silence.
So where? Outside there are birds, cars, people, barking dogs and others. At home, something is always happening. Sometimes I think that my home lives its own live with all its strange sounds and noises, unfortunately for me and my desire of silence.
“WHERE?” I was just about to shout. There was still one place that I did not check – my own room. I decided to go there on tiptoe – not to scare the silence. I got into my bed and I covered myself with a blanket up to the top of my head. “Finally” I thought and after ten minutes I heard knocking at the door.
Silence has to be a very strange creature. It appears, when we do not even want it and then we feel awkward. If we need this kind of calmness it can not be found easily. Pure malice. Silence does it on purpose. I suppose it want to be only for selected ones.